but now it's over.

It is in the errors that the most beautiful creation lies.
It lies in the misspellings – the grammatical errors, the choppy sentences. It’s the clichés, the semi original plotlines. In all of that lies the reason I still justify calling myself a writer: when I am upset, I find my peace in my own stories, I find the ability to be calm by reminding myself of what I created at twelve, thirteen, fourteen (fifteen?). There is a point when the mantra of I peaked at thirteen slides away with reality and I lose myself in the same things I always do. Love stories, rock stars, glamour. Insain isn’t it? Sick hearts, plays on words that work or don’t—wordststrungtogether towards the end, three page opuses of I need inspiration. No punctuation or quotations. It might not make sense but this is how I think and this is what makes sense to me, just me – not you. My dry humor and Gossip Girl/Chuck Palahniuk—my back to basics. Thirty six play lists of words and notes to write to – a new one for each inspiration. Notes, “Other People’s Stories,” disorganized just the way I like them. Titles that are indiscernible to the untrained eye but rarely surprise me when I open them. Click this folder, simply labeled Stories – and you have what makes me human. Except that you will never have them – they belong to me and only me, even if they mean something to you (well isn’t that just sick.) and will never lose them.

This is how much I miss writing.
Except it doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Dear Blair...

So I have been in hybernation these past couple of weeks, as you (you being a substitute for no one) must have noticed. It's been in preparation for my life to fall into a black abyss some people call "junior year on the Oakland Strokes" but hey, I'm back now!

I want to talk about Blair Waldorf. Fuck Leighton Meester, her blond hair shoots a rubber bullet at my soul every time I see it. (It's nice actually, I guess - but as a brunette I feel betrayed in some twisted way.)

I wish I was Blair. Or at least I wish she would donate me all her hand me downs (Good bye Jenny. Really now.) Now here enters my love of lists and I present:

Why I Love Blair Waldorf: A List

1 Her brunette curls, which are perfect to a point (please ignore my red hair at the moment >.>) that mine will never be.

2 She's as big of a bitch as she wants to be and everyone is completely okay with that. In fact, I would probably just not watch Gossip Girl if it weren't for my favorite complete and utter bitch.

3 Her tights. I love a good pair of tights. Hell, I love a bad pair of tights. My legs are short and wide and well...it's a love hate relationship, but I find that a good pair of tights has always helped me lean towards the love side.

4 She's not a trend whore. Rather she has style. Just because wearing a tea kettle on your head is in style doesn't merritt a place on Blair Waldorf's hallowed head (I can't say the same for an idiot we know as Jenny. Side Note: apologies to Jenny lovers but I can't stand the girl.)

5 If I had two guys like Chuck or Nate at my disposal, I think I'd have a lot of sex too.

6 Her use of color. Always looks fab, always looks expensive (because it is, but you know what I mean).

7 She's only 5'3 or some crazy height like that. Crazy, I say, as that is my height. Whether or not she wears heels or flats or sacks on her feet, I wouldn't guess that. She dresses (or rather is dressed) to elongate like WHOA.

8 Those headbands of hers give me a little fuzzy feeling inside that's quite remniscent of being in love.

9 I love Gossip Girl winter episodes because of one reason: I love coats. I love tights. I love winter (because I don't really have one). Blair does winter ten times better than all the other GG girls. From the tippy top of her headband's bow to the dirt on the bottom of her shoes (or lack there of, Blair Waldorf does not step in DIRT) she looks fabulous.

10 Even when it isn't winter, the blazers and cardigans she pulls out of a magic hat people call a credit card, yeah they pretty much make me cry. In fact...forget the maybe part. Blair Waldorf, you have my heart forever and always.

PS there are no pictures here because I liked them all too much. Go Google Image Blair Waldorf and you'll get it.

So I didn't do anything today...

I took a practice SAT (FIVE HOURS. FIVE.) and I went to spin class.

Spinning is amazing, I highly recommend it.

But I swore I would update every day so I will.
I'm working on logos and designs for my company, Electric Beatdown so...expect news from that soon, heyy.
And...ugh I can't even think anymore. FIVE HOURS. I'm not a smiley person but this deserves a maaajor DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

Oh well. It's over now. Goodnight.

Let's start this off right, with something I've been meaning to do.


Dress: Urban Outfitters (this week)
Shoes: Urban Outfitters (last year)

Yes I stand on my bed. Yes my room is red. Darn skippy that rhymes. My face was the epitome of disgusting up there so i cropped it out and took a better picture! Next time I think I'll be replacing the shoes with something else but I dunno what yet.

Today I read my summer reading, worked on my recording project (formerly known as Secret Project) and went out to lunch with my dad. Ordered new polos for school, did not go to the gym. That's one failure in a day of things getting done, so I'll give myself a pass!

On the other hand - today I discovered A Fine Frenzy. Gotta love redheads with amazing voices.

Now I need to leave and spend my time watching YouTube.

Day Two.

For lack of a better entry title this is now called "Day Two."

Today I was supposed to:
1 - Do my homework.
2 - Read my summer reading book.
3 - Clean a bit.
4 - Work on my Project.
5 - Hang out with Hanna.
6 - Work out.

So I guess we we could also call this entry "Day Two, Day One of Fail" because well...it's seven PM and this is what I have done all day:

1 - Hung out with Hanna
2 - Went to Japantown with Hanna
3 - Worked out.

Three cheers for procrastination. Unfortunately...I wanted to also take a picture of what I was wearing today to share with the world, but...that got lost in the mix of "I need to sleep in and sleep and eat and sit on my butt for the last week before school OH OKAY BYE I'M GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO WITH HANNA."

This stuff happens.
So instead of clothes, I present my findings at some random Japanese dollar store:



(Clockwise from top)
- A random folding box with a squirrel.
- Tupperware, labeled to be a "fruit box." The English on it says "Let's enjoy a time with me."
- Fork/spoon/chopsticks in a box!
- Mini handwipes.

I also bought a HUGE key chain with some french fries on it. But alas, no picture because well it's on my keys. And I think those are upstairs.

Until tomorrow (when I promise a picture ugh!).

Hello.

My name is Marlee.
I am sixteen years old.
I row crew, I play music, I write a lot, I obsess over clothes.
I'm starting a clothing company, it's my junior year and I run a small website.

Down there, that idiot is me. And my shameless plug for 7-11 slurpees. Don't ask, those glasses are fake.



Let's talk about today, now that all that boring introduction crap is done with?

Considering my junior year in high school starts in a week (too early? I THINK SO), my motivation has gone down the drain. I have things to finish and get done but my procrastination levels have gone WAY up. More than usual, I swear.

I'm quite bad at this whole "have time on your hands" deal, so in that sense I guess the school year will be a good thing. No longer can I wake up at ten and go to sleep at one, filling those in between hours with my cats and television. Not being busy is driving me crazy.

It's also giving me no attention span. So I will give up for the night and leave with a parting thought:

I need a new hat. A good one. A fedora-type hat but one you can wear a bit farther back on the head.
I am now on the look out for a good hat. Wait and see - my hat and I will be making a damn good debut.